Wednesday, August 5, 2009

More Funny Stuff from the Mouths of Fundies

As I've mentioned many a time, I live in a very fundieful area and I've worked with a lot of very conservative religious people. Sometimes, fundies say the darndest things. While looking through my old journal I was reminded of an incident I found rather amusing.

The store owner was South African and much more liberal than the average employee in his shop. He'd mentioned a number of times before that the constant playing of praise music was a bit annoying. We played satellite radio at the shop and it was almost permanently set on set on a Christian music station. One day he came in and chatted with us for a while when he noticed the radio was playing a mainstream song.

He asked, "Did someone finally change the channel?"

My co-worker (and manager) replied, "Sometimes this station plays sexual music between the Christian music."

The owner asked, "Sexual music? It's not Christian but isn't calling it sexual going a little too far?" After all, the song had been a Kenny Loggins ditty called "The House at Pooh Corner" which could not be construed as sexual in any way.

She replied, "You know how you have your Church life and your sexual life? Everything that is of the world and not of the Church is sexual."

She went into the cooler to get more flowers and I burst out laughing. The owner joined me. He laughed hard enough to tear up.

He asked me, "Should I tell her or do you want to?"

I replied, "Oh, I'm not touching this one."

For a short time after his explanation, she used the term 'secular' but eventually slipped back to using the word 'sexual' instead.

So every time I see or hear the word 'secular' I giggle just a bit.

Hehe, sexual humanists!


Project Savior said...


I think I like the term Sexual Humanist better.

You've made my day.

alphager said...

You will love with the many fundie-quotes....

Spanish Inquisitor said...

Hey! I resemble that remark! I AM a sexual human(ist).

Anonymous said...

LOL! Can I be a sexual secular humanist, or is that too big a mouthful?

Yaamyn said...

Yes. Fundies in my country also has the habit of saying the darndest things..

I've been taking them on my blog, but it's just no point expecting anything to enter their skulls!

Mike aka MonolithTMA said...

"Cuz when I get that feeling, it's like secular healing!" ;-)

Richard said...

There's a bunch of stories about that one. Maybe your next installment could be called, "Blow jobs for Christ."

Kylyssa Shay said...

That story might need to go onto Kylyssarotica to keep TAB from getting an adult splash warning, Rich.

Richard has heard all my stories about working with fundies, some of which are more alarming and depressing rather than amusing.

Using said...

Okay, I gotta ask... If the store owner found the music annoying, why didn't he, for the sake of his customers, change the channel?

Darrell said...

There's an entire site dedicated to fundy craziness: Stuff Fundies Like

Kylyssa Shay said...

In response to Using -

Most of the clientele also seemed to prefer the religious station. The shop was within a mile of two religious colleges. About 80% of the wedding flowers we delivered went to CRC churches.

Demoli said...

I'm going to start the UK Sexual Humanist movement. Porn and humanism together at last.