Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Editing the Word of God
Ladies and gentlemen, the days of needing to cherry pick the Bible to fit your ideology are coming to an end! What I am suggesting is not that you change your beliefs and practices to fit the immutable word of God. Soon you will be able to obtain the new and improved immutable word of God - now in complete harmony with your conservative and capitalistic views!
They’re taking out all of the inclusive namby pamby wussy language – the real Bible will be chock full of he, his, and him! They are removing that silly story of the adulteress which portrays Jesus as a gutless pushover. You won’t find any leftist peace, love, and forgiveness in the new and improved immutable word of God!
They’re also getting rid of any references to that Jehovah jerk and Yahweh yahoo – and changing them to Lord or God – good old American words - just like Jesus really used!
The new and improved immutable word of God will include more vivid, spine tingling Hellfire and brimstone. Soon you can get your new and improved immutable word of God from the Conservative Bible Project, now with more support of ruthless capitalism!
No, really, I’m not kidding. Click the link.