Wednesday, December 16, 2009

More Interesting Search Terms

Once again I was analyzing the views on my Squidoo pages and saw some interesting search terms landing people on my atheist lenses. Some are sad, some are mean, and some are just so weird I felt like sharing them. My sarcastic comments, written in italics, can be found beneath some of the phrases.


do atheists have a faith system in anything

how do atheist name their babies
With baby name books like everyone else does, one would imagine.

when did america become atheist
America has become atheist?

how do you explain christmas to an atheist
Let's see. A long, long time ago, people called Pagans had winter festivals to celebrate the winter solstice. Then along came Christians who really wanted to force the Pagans to follow their religion. But the Pagans didn't want to give up their fun winter party so the Christians renamed it Christmas and said the Baby Jesus was born on that day. And now, people like to celebrate it by spending lots of money and going into debt to maintain their social status.

the day atheists see god
Is the day someone slipped something into their beer?

scientific way to find do you think the seasons would be any different in cincinnati if there was no
OK, I don't understand the relevance either but it was funny to me for some reason.

why atheist are thankful at thanksgiven
Maybe because people did something for them?

story of why atheist eat babies
What's to tell? Babies are more tender than grown-ups.

atheists do believe in something, becuz it takes alot of faith 2 believe in nothing
How could anyone believe in anything in a world where people enter text speak into search engines?

hypocrisy of being atheist
I'm not seeing it, really. I don't think God is real. Where's the hypocrisy?

evolution doesn't make people into atheists any more than climate changes
Nope, no it doesn't.

people believe in evolution because they don't want to believe in god
No, people believe evolution happened because there is evidence that it did but people don't believe in God because there's no evidence that it exists.

can't see feelings can't see god so god must exist
Oh, yay! This means unicorns are real, too, right?

origin of life in atheism
Um, only religions and other myths have origin stories, atheists just tend to try to find out what actually happened or leave the question alone.

everyone believes in one god no matter what they think
OK... so, even if I don't think God is real, I think God is real?

why dont atheist commit suicide
Because we're enjoying our one and only life?

how do atheist get born if they dont believe in god
Their parents have intercourse.

why dont atheist just pick a religion and believe
Just... wow.

how can I tell if someone is an atheist
They have no reflection. Wait, no, that's vampires.

atheists breasts

why do atheists follow laws if there is no god why worry about consequences

atheists shouldn't have kids

how to screw atheists
Obviously, I saved the best for last.


Leah Elliott Hauge said...

I get four or five hits a day for: What can demons do to you

And they get this post

Honkmofo said...

Ha ha! Awesome! I needed a good laugh! Atheists do laugh, don't they?

Joshua said...

I frequently get hits for how to make a Horcrux in real life. There's a disturbing similarity in theme.

Anonymous said...

There's a website, now formally retired called "Fundies Say the Darndest Things!" Your post reminded me of some of the bad craziness at FSTDT.