Thursday, May 14, 2009

My Own Version of Fundies Say the Darndest Things

Recently I was relating several stories about weird or funny things I'd personally heard hardcore religious people say. Since I've been slacking off on my Atheist blog in favor of trying to earn some money for my writing, I figured some of those stories would make good blog entries.

I was working in a flower shop amongst highly religious co-workers. I was always extra careful to keep my language clean and my opinions (aside from those on floral design) strictly to myself. Little did I know that my determination not to swear in front of customers might get me into an uncomfortable spot.

As sometimes happens in a flower shop, I lost my grip on a slippery glass vase. My normal inclination would be to paint the air blue with words relating to bodily functions or procreation. But, trying to keep it clean, I exclaimed, "Rut Ro!" (the appropriate expression often used by a certain cartoon dog) as the vase began to slip from my hand.

My co-worker asked, "What on earth was that?!?"

To which I responded, "Rut Ro. Haven't you heard that before?"

She replied, "No, is it from something?"

"It's from Scooby-Doo, he says it whenever something bad is about to happen."

"That's Satanic! That show is Satanic! It's from the Devil with witches and demons."

I quickly tried to explain, "But none of the monsters or witches were real, it was all smoke and mirrors - a rubber mask or a movie projector..."

"That show is just from the Devil, and I don't want to hear about it!"

I got the cold shoulder for from her the rest of the day and angry glares from her and another co-worker for several days afterward.

So, I guess Scooby-Doo is a big time Satanist.


Anonymous said...

"Scooby Doo, where are you?"

Parker said...

hell, I'm guessing

jon said...

The *old* Scooby Doo was clear - no ghosts, witches, skull-faced aliens actually existed. All monsters and the like were revealed as nothing more than clever costumes and sometimes elaborate uses of technology.

The new extended Scooby Doo features now contain real ghosts, witches, monsters and evil spirits, and suffers greatly for it.

I would assume that your coworkers are still misinformed and are hardly current in Satanic cartoon knowledge, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

In this case, your coworkers are now correct that Witches and Demons are featured in the current Scooby Doo.

However, they are still retarded.

Alex Yeh said...

When I was a kid, I had a babysitter who was of the same opinion. She also thought that the Transformers logo was a symbol of the devil.

Yanagi said...

perhaps it is just the rejection of the supernatural from the (original) scooby-doo cartoons that so offends them...

Harold Fowler said...

Scary dude, someone send this chick a Bible!

ahmed said...

Haha, Scooby Doo: And You Thought Harry Potter was Evil!

Can you consider reposting this on ? We have a weekly "write a rant" contest (with cash prizes) and I think this post has potential :)

The Donut Guy said...

Fuck me....I woulda been fired the second I dropped the vase.